.I have a confession, I love birthdays and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I love birthdays so much that one day is not enough, so I celebrate my birth month. This month is a time when I embrace the joys of regressing to my childhood by demanding attention and many (never enough) gifts from my family. Fortunately, I have a tolerant family who obliges me every year, especially my daughter, who feeds off my excitement and takes pleasure in creating one of a kind works of art that she insists on giving to me as soon immediately upon completion. My husband, on the other hand, struggles with finding meaningful gifts that I will use. His gifts are hit or miss. One year he ran out of ideas and ended up wrapping a box of batteries for a digital SLR camera he bought me the year before. Miss! This year, he got me a beautiful state of the art, washer, and dryer set. Hit!

For some, my delight for birthdays is an unfamiliar experience; they would rather ignore their own. I’ve witnessed family and friends threaten anyone who even thinks about surprising them with a party. Others ignore their birthday, hoping that no one will notice. They seem to forget about Facebook’s reminder system. I suspect that birthdays increase existential anxiety by serving as a reminder of our mortality. With this approach to birthdays, I wonder if others see me as having morbid fantasies. By the way, for those with a penchant for somber matters, there is a website you can visit that will remind you of your impending death by counting down the weeks you have left to live based on an estimated life expectancy.

Given that this is my birth month, I started to think about humans’ relationship with birthdays. Why we even celebrate them. When and how did this practice begin? What do we gain from recognizing the day of our birth? Is there an evolutionary explanation? After all, there is no evidence of birthday recognition within the animal kingdom. More importantly, why do some people enjoy birthdays while others dread them? These questions inspired some internet sleuthing, which lead me down a rabbit hole of interesting theories and facts about birthdays. However, to understand our connection to birthdays, we need to go back to when our ancestors began keeping time.

(Really) Quick History of Timekeeping

The ability to conceptualize and measure time is, perhaps, one of the most significant achievements of humankind. Keeping track of the year, or more specifically, the seasons, was essential for human survival. The ability to track weather and animal migration patterns was vital to both agriculture and hunter and gatherer societies. However, measuring a year without access to modern timekeeping devices was difficult. Nature does not provide us with a method of pinpointing exactly when the new year begins. Prehistoric societies relied more on broad indicators, like seasonal changes. The need for future planning enhanced when humans shifted to the agricultural age, and societies started to form. This need resulted in the development of more sophisticated time tracking methods. Scientists speculate that there have been some prehistorical structures, dating back to the Neolithic period approximately 12,000 years ago, that was used to keep track of the year. These structures consisted mainly of carefully placed stones that tracked the earth’s rotation around the moon or sun. This and other time measuring devices (i.e., sundials) were the central systems used. It wasn’t until several thousand years later that calendars would be invented.

Calendars

There is inconclusive evidence of who started using calendars because many ancient societies had their version. However, some anthropologists believe the Egyptians were the first to use a solar calendar, which was more accurate than the lunar calendar. Today most countries use the Gregorian calendar, named after Pope Gregory XIII, who introduced it in 1582. This calendar was a modification of earlier existing versions to correct a problem with celebrating the Easter holiday. Although considered the worldwide standard, the Gregorian calendar is hardly the authority on timekeeping. The measurement of time is a human invention and not a natural construction. Some countries use other versions of the calendar (e.g., Afghanistan, Iran, and Nepal) while other countries use a modified version of the Gregorian calendar (e.g., Taiwan, North Korea, and Japan). There are approximately 40 calendars in use throughout the world. Our use of the Gregorian calendar has less to do with precision and more to do with the Catholic Church’s power over societies.

What Does This Have to Do with Birthdays?

Okay, you might be wondering what all of this has to do with birthdays. Well, as humans evolved, they not only developed consciousness for time and planning; they developed consciousness for the divine. Although open to debate, some scholars believe birthdays have their roots from paganism. Ancient Egyptians believed that when crowning a pharaoh, he or she transformed into a god. This coronation date marked the pharaoh’s “birth day” into the divine. The Greeks soon adopted this practice by celebrating the birthdays of their goddesses and gods. The Romans, however, were the first civilization to celebrate secular birthdays, which included family and friends. Unfortunately, the Romans excluded women from this recognition and would not include them until several years later.

The Christian Church initially rejected the practice of celebrating birthdays because they believed people are born into “original sin” and are “reborn” only after confirming belief and loyalty to Jesus. In addition, the early Christian Church rejected the idea of adopting a celebratory practice that had its origins in “paganism”; however, after a few hundred years, the Christian Church reconsidered. They realized that they could strategically recruit more followers by celebrating a specific birthday. The Romans were already celebrating Saturnalia, the god Saturn, during December, and the Christian Church took advantage of this opportunity by celebrating Jesus’ birthday around this date. Early Jewish faith also rejected the idea of birthdays; however, the reasoning was more practical. Because there was no mention of celebrating birthdays in the Old Testament, other than the Pharaoh’s (Gen 40:20), there was no precedent for engaging in this practice.

Yes, but Get to the Good Part about Birthdays

Fast forward to modern-day and birthdays are celebrated in almost every part of the world (there are some cultures and religions who consider the celebration of birthdays as bad luck or unholy). Most people in the U.S. have fully embraced birthdays and celebrate them with untethered enthusiasm…or do they? The answer may depend on the person’s age, social support system, and disposition.

Children’s feelings about birthdays are easy to uncover. We all know they look forward to their day with excitement. My daughter starts planning for her birthday at least six months in advance. She has her guest list, party theme, and location picked out. She updated these every month, depending on her mood. In many ways, the planning of her birthday party is more exciting than the actual event. It is when we are older that we start to develop a different relationship with birthdays. For some adults, birthdays are a stressful and depressing time. There is even a term for this experience on Urban Dictionary, “birthday blues.” There are a few theories on why people experience birthday blues. For example, birthdays may be a time for personal reflection. Reaching another age milestone may cause us to think about who we have become and what we have accomplished during our existence. General dissatisfaction with life can make birthdays seem dreadful.

Another theory connects the experience of birthday blues to our social system. Celebrating a birthday with loved ones can bring joy, but for many who are lonely or isolated, it can also be a difficult time. Studies have shown that birthdays can increase the chances of dying. One revealing study postulated that people 60 years or older are 14% more likely to die on their birthdays as opposed to other days in the year (Ajdacic, et al, 2012). The causes of death include accidents, suicides, and illnesses. This is a period in life that individuals are more likely to experience solitude living. Another study (Saposnik, et al. 2006), discovered that vascular events such as strokes and heart attacks are more common on birthdays and chronic stress is one of the main culprits of heart disease.

A third theory involves certain natural encounters to aging, which affect existential anxiety. As people age, they are more likely to come across reminders of their mortality: Friends and loved ones die, the body experiences a decline in health and energy, and life becomes more predictable. Of course, general life dissatisfaction and social isolation exacerbate these experiences. Irvin Yalom, a prominent existential psychiatrist, shared his perception of the experiences of birthdays. He observed that as humans age, they naturally suppress thoughts and feelings of death, pushing it into the unconscious and that every birthday serves as a reminder that our time here has limits. How discouraging.

Fortunately, the process of aging does not automatically come with the development of these existential issues. Aging can be an enjoyable experience, filled with deep appreciation and stability. Of course, if we reverse the previous theories, we can conclude that if a person is satisfied with her or his quality of life, has meaningful relationships, and possesses a positive disposition about death, then they would have fewer aversions to birthdays. However, there is another human experience, we can conclude that if a person is satisfied with her or his quality of life, has meaningful relationships, and possesses a positive disposition about death, then they would have fewer aversions to birthdays. However, there is another human experience to look forward to when we age, our brain’s natural process of preparing us for death. A neurological study on emotional development and aging discovered that as people age, their brain undergoes important changes. By examining the brain’s responses of 242 healthy people ages 12 to 79, the researchers found that individuals become less neurotic with age (Hooker, et al., 2006). The researchers showed images of distressed and happy faces to participants and measured their brain responses with functional MRI scans and EEGs. The researchers discovered that older individuals were less affected and more emotionally stable when viewing these images. They hypothesized that the amygdala – the brain’s alarm center that processes emotions, especially fear – tends to become less reactive as we age. A less reactive amygdala allows other parts of the brain (i.e., prefrontal cortex) to engage more. This adaptive response to aging leads to improved rational thinking, intentional socialization, and, more importantly, mindful reflections, which can lead to a greater appreciation of life. In other words, by reducing neurotic reactions to life’s experiences, we can focus more on our relationships and quality of life, making the most of the time we have left.

Decreasing our brain’s emotional reactions is nature’s way of easing us into old age; however, environmental factors (i.e., poverty, abuse, systemic oppression, isolation, etc.) can interfere with this process. I recognize how fortunate I am to have family and friends in which to share my birthdays, and I am grateful for the opportunities and freedoms I had to pursue my life path. I know that not everyone shares this privilege. There is a lot of work that still needs to happen to help older people enjoy the time they have left. Of course, we can start by building meaningful relationships and reaching out to those who are isolated. We could also enhance mindful living by living in the moment and being present. We can also strengthen our social activism by tackling those social barriers that lead to poverty and social isolation for so many. Nature has done its part; it is time to do ours.